Birthday Depression || Synttärimasennus

Okei. Tällä kertaa vähän henkilökohtasempi postaus, jolla ei oikeen oo mitään tarkotusta.

Synttärit alkaa lähestyä ja se jos joku saa miettimää elämää taaksepäin. Pienenä oli niin kamalan kivaa kun joka synttärit sai pyytää paljon kavereita kylää ja kaikilla oli sulle kivoja lahjoja. Ja herkkujakin oli niin älyttömästi. Ainakin omalla kohdalla on käynyt niin, että mitä vanhemmaksi tulee, sitä huonommat synttärit on ollu.

Ite rakastan kaikkia juhlia ja oonki yrittäny järkätä mun kavereille mahdollisimman kivat synttärit, varsinki ku tullaan täysi-ikään. Yhdelle ostin reilun 100€ lahjan joka oli kooltaan noin metri kertaa metri, yhdelle järkkäsin yllätyssynttärit jonka teema oli pinkki. Ostin kaikki lautaset, mukit, pillit, serpentiinit, ilmapallot, boolit väri väriin. Pinkkiä. Ja tässä vaiheessa pitää muistuttaa, että en oo, enkä ikinä oo ollut hirveen varakas ihminen, joten mitä annan muille on todellakin multa iteltäni pois.

Kun ite täytin 18, muutamat hyvät kaverit kävi mun kanssa kiinalaisessa syömässä ja sain muutaman lahjakin, mutta kun iltaan mentiin jäi porukka mielummin puistoon kun lähti mun kanssa baariin. Yksi näistä lähti mun kanssa kiertelemään, mutta väsy tuli sille tosi nopsaan ja reilusti ennen kello kahta lähdettiinkin meille nukkumaan. Petyin kyllä vähän.

Opin vihaamaan synttäreitä. Siis omiani. Muille aion tulevaisuudessakin yrittää järkätä upeet 18 v. pippalot, koska ne on vaan kerran elämässä.

Kaksikymmentä päivää niin täytän 19. Viimeinen teinivuosi lähtee käyntiin. En aio pitää minkäänlaisia synttäreitä. Aion olla koko päivän kotona kera viinipullon ja vietän iltaa yksinäni. Käyn ehkä saunassa ja kuuntelen musiikkia. Lakkaan kynnet ja katon elokuvia. Käyn ajoissa nukkumaan.

Pitkään aikaan en oo osannu tarvita ketään tai mitään. Siihen oppii ja silloin huomaa, että kun ei odota eikä vaadi mitään ei voi pettyä.

Normaalisti oon ihminen joka toimii järjen eikä tunteen pohjalta ja niinä harvoina päivinä kun annan tunteen viedä saankin paljon palautetta. "Mikä vittu sulla taas on?! "Miks oot tollanen?!" "Voitko lopettaa ton?" Omat tunteet pinoon ja piiloon, omat epävarmuudet sängyn alle ja esitä, ettei mikään koskaan ollutkaan vialla. Älä turhaan odota, että kukaan viittisi edes yrittää ymmärtää sun lähtökohtia.

Tästä kaikesta syyttäkäämme synttärimasennusta! Vuosi lähempänä kuolemaa! :D


Kaikki kuvat: tumblr.com ja quickmeme.com



  Alright, this time bit more personal post. And it holds no meaning whatsoever.

It's almost time for my birthday and that if something makes me think back my life. As kids it was the best thing ever to invite lots of friends over and they all brought you nice presents. And of course the sweets and cakes and all. Well, in my case the older I've gotten, the worse my birthdays have been.

I love parties. I've tried to throw as nice birthdays for my friends as I could, especially when they're hitting adulthood. For one of my friends I bought a gift that was enormous and cost bit over 100€. For another I threw a surprise party with a theme. Pink. Everything from balloons, plates and straws to punch and cocktail sticks. All pink. And I have never been that rich so everything I do for others is less for myself.

When I turned 18, few of my good friends went to eat chinese food with me and I also got few presents too, but when the evening arrived, only one of my friends could go to bars with me. I guess it was nicer to get drunk at the park. Anyway, I got home before 2 am since my friend felt tired so we had to leave. Of course I was bit disappointed.

I learnt to hate birthdays. My own, I mean. In the future I'm still going to try throwing the best parties when my friends turn 18 because that happens only once in lifetime.

20 days and I'll turn 19. It's my last teenage year. I'm not gonna throw any kinda party for myself. I'm going to stay home alone with a vine bottle and spend the night alone. Maybe I'll go to sauna and listen to music. Maybe I'll paint my nails and watch movies. I'll go to bed early.It has been long time since I actually needed someone or something. After you learn that you'll notice that if you don't expect anything, you won't get disappointed!

Usually I'm a person who listens to common sense and rational thoughts rather than what my feelings tell me and during those rare days when I let my feelings guide me, I get lot of feedback. "What the fuck is wrong with you again?!" "Why are you like that?" "Stop being like that." Gather your feelings and hide them away,  insecurities under the bed and act like nothing has never been wrong. Don't assume anyone's gonna even try to understand your reasoning.

Let's blame birthday depression for this post! One year closer to death! :D

Pictures: tumblr.com & quickmeme.com

Foolish Games

You're always brilliant in the morning,

Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee

So since youtube is being a little brat and refuses to use their embed videos as small ones for music, I abandoned the idea and now you can find the music player on the top right corner. I'll add 2 songs per post to the playlist so you won't have to listen to the same ones million times in row.

So what am I going to post today. SHIT. Like always, love, like always. I have lots of photos I want to spam you with and also my quick review of Kingdom Heart's Birth by Sleep what I just recently got myself. Also I might rant how so far I do not like Assassin's Creed III at all.

TO THE PHOTOS!!!
(These I have actually taken before I had started my school)

Next 5 are taken in August

This I decided to add here if there's any people who have never used DSLR-camera to see how the aperture and shutter speed work.

And to even more recent pictures!

These two I took when I was visiting back home during fall break.


TO THE SHIT I'VE DONE!

I was a big girl last weekend. I went to bar all alone. I swear I must have looked really pathetic sitting there alone and looking around like I was lost. But I did have quite much to drink (which most I didn't buy myself) and actually grew some balls and went dancing and met some people. It was quite nice, but when it was time to leave (it came too soon) I pretty much had to stand in wet, cold snow waiting taxi for over 30 minutes. Well, the driver was nice so yeah. I am not in hurry to go again.

It was a Halloween party so I tried to look some kind of circus freak, but I'm actually just using that for excuse to wear A LOT of make up.

So I got myself Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep.

I love the series, I have always loved since the first one I got when I was around 12. Actually I love them so much that I did buy nintendo DS to play 358/2 and psp for BBS. (Bought it over year ago, bought the game last week. I THINK IT WAS ABOUT TIME.)

 And this one was a super positive surprise! The fighting style, the items, the abilities, everything. Awesome. In 358/2 the system was bit hard to grasp onto and it was kind of weird, but boy oh boy did they make BBS better. If the 3rd one is made the same way, I'll be super happy. Heck, I actually wish the system will be as similar as possible.

So, Kingdom Hearts is a series that you don't really get if you don't play all parts. Even I'm still bit lost that what is going on, so I won't be explaining the concept to you, but the game itself is wonderful and even if I hadn't played the other parts, I would have greatly enjoyed myself.

So in a nutshell, you get to play one story, in 3 different perspectives. Play one, you're like "alright", play 2 and you're starting to grasp something and while playing the third one you'll blow your mind and you get the "OH MY GOD, OF COURSE! WHY AM I SO STUPID" reaction.

And it's square enix. The damn opening scene is so god damn gorgeously done that I could watch it for the eternity. It took me 12-15 hours per character, per perspective to play it through and I'll surely keep playing to get the whole thing to 100%. It is so enjoyable.

"Oh my god, I think I might be a lesbian." Just kidding, I love Aqua.

And my absolutely favorite part is the characters. Especially Aqua and Ven. Aqua just might be first female character of KH (non-disney character that is) that I actually like and enjoy very much. She's strong, beautiful, mature and yet she's not annoying "GIRLS-DO-IT-BETTER!!!" or "girls-don't-do-it-at-all". She's woman and yet she has no need to prove that she's as good as man. 

Ven I simply love because his carefree nature. (My love with Roxas from KH2 and 358/2 has nothing to do with this.) He acts like a child he is, it makes me happy. 

Assassin's Creed III - Join or Die

Another game I had waited small forever for. Last monday, I finally went and got it. I had Join or Die -edition on hold from Game Stop and I was so excited to get it.

I had watched only the trailer. No game play videos, no anything else. I'm very strict about spoiling myself in games. I didn't want that. But I did assume I'd love the game like AC 1, 2, brotherhood, revelation.

Still packed.

So Join or Die-edition includes following: -Assassin’s Creed III retail game
- The medallion of the Assassins with its high-quality curd ladle
- George Washington's notebook revealing all the truth & secrets about the Assassins and the Templars during the American Revolution.
- 1 in-game Single Player Mission:
- Ghost of War: The tide of the Revolution turns into the Templars favor. Defeat your enemies and  unlock The Pontiac’s War Club, a powerful Native American weapon.
- 1 in-game Multiplayer Package:
- The Sharpshooter package: Unleash the Sharpshooter fury in multiplayer with 1 new character, the Sharpshooter, 1 Relic, 1 Emblem, 1 special Picture and the Title of "The Jester".

Especially the notebook is absolutely gorgeous. Next picture won't give it justice.



So I haven't played much yet around 5-7 hours (haven't been counting), but I am very disappointed so far. I fucking love Assassin's Creed series and all the other (ps3) games have been my greatest passion and joy, but this one has so far left me quite annoyed. I feel they changed too much in hope to make the game better, but in my opinion, it doesn't even feel Assassin's Creed that much anymore.

Life bars, loading screens, weapon wheel, map... Everything small has been changed to completely different. I mean, they did change some things in Revelation, but it was all better. I actually enjoy Revelation's system the best and I was hoping this one would have similar. But was I wrong.

The first few hours were horrible to play. I actually wished I didn't have to play. I wanted to quit. I NEVER have wanted to quit playing AC.

Also, the characters so far aren't doing anything for me. Ezio, Altaïr, Desmond, they're all easy to like. I fell in love with Ezio and Altaïr in first hour and I grew onto Desmond. Conner does nothing to me so far. I'm afraid I won't grow to like him as I like the others.

Only thing I really enjoy is hunting. I'd rather hunt the whole game through than actually play and that tells something when "side mission" is better than real deal.

I can't really say I hate the game yet, but so far I am really disappointed since no other AC game has ever left me so frustrated and jaded. I'll play the game through and update my feelings after that. I'm still hoping that I will love the game. Somehow.



TO THE RANT

I think I'll actually include section on my blog that I simply call "the rant". I don't promise to rant in every post, but I will rant more than enough. But I think my quick review ^ is enough of a rant for this time so no other rantings today!

FUN FACTS

I am the most horrible night-time-eater you'll ever meet. I usually get cravings for _any food_ during nights. Last night it was unbearable and the fridge was empty. So what do I do? I make the impossible, possible. I looked trough every cabin in hopes to find something eatable and I did! I found an apple.

Wasn't just any apple though, I did fry it in oil and syrup, added some cinnamon, pimpernel (? had to use dictionary for this one) and ginger. Also when done, I put them in glass and poured some ice cream on top. It was actually very tasty. I was bit surprised.

Though that didn't take away my hunger, so my search for more food continued. I found wok-vegetables in the freezer and thought... "What can I make of this since I don't really enjoy veggies without meat." Well, I made some very good sauce (in very weird measures) and added a lot of spices to the fried wok. It tasted HEAVENLY. I had to make more (made some this morning too) simply because it was so delicious. If all vegetarian food tasted like that, it wouldn't be too hard for me to change diet.



I am done for today. 'till the next time, loves!

in  the next episode, something about London.

False Astronomy

Okay. I lied. You won't get any purse posts today. Instead I'll give you more photos and even few gif's! *GASP* I'll spam alot of my face today.

I am working on game playing video, but once I had played it like 10 min and I stopped and realized it wasn't recording so I got mad and didn't do that. You might get it in next post though.

With make up, obviously.

I've been sick during last week and it was awful. It's be horrible week and I hope it'll go towards better next week. I'LL FINALLY CAN GO HOME! Sooo excited. I miss my friends.

Fresh from shower, ahaha, what a difference. REASON WHY I WEAR MAKE UP.

The colorful fall came behind the corner too quickly. Few days and trees started falling leafs and now they barely have any. I love fall though. It's so beautiful, I love the colors. I love the gentle breeze and especially I love the falling leafs. But the best is the feeling of something ending and something new starting. Soon it will be winter and I'll look forward that. Why? It'll be spring. The new and the life is something to look forward to.

herp-a-derp-a-herp

     

 

Okay. I wouldn't be cool if I didn't rant about something, right? Right. I'll rant today about constant promoting of own blogs/tumblr/insertanythinghere. It's one of the top 10 annoying internet things I know. Also over tagging your own photos etc.

Whenever I see self-promoting done is large scale it makes me go like this:

Seriously. It should be enough if you keep a link in somewhere on your profile and maybe give out link when you have updated. (Blogs.) Tumblr promoting I can't really stand, because it's like rule number 1 of tumblr.. Seriously I wouldn't give out my tumblr to anyone even if they asked. (Maybe if they were as stupid as me and liked all the same things I could consire.) Seeing someone spam a "fashion/angst/thinspo/boo-u-whore" tumblr blogs make me want to kill myself. Especially when these people always answer "I'm fine and I have fun!" when you ask them, but then you check their just linked blog (EVERYONE FOLLOW ME!!!) and it's full of angsty shit. 

                           

MAKE UP YOUR MIND. If you have that "angsty blog" as personal blog, then go ahead. It's all good to vent somewhere, but don't link it to the world to read if those are so personal thoughts to you.

Okay. I'm done with ranting, I'm currently playing this game and there's once again issue to be solved and I'm getting furious with this situation. So, 'till the next time!

                             

In the next episode, the mystery game is no longer a mystery!